Let the Storm Rage On, the Cold Never Bothered me Anyway

There's something I've been meaning to tell you, if I haven't already.

If you don't know this, it's not because I didn't want to tell you, it's just something I've been meaning to do. Because I have told some people, maybe just not you. It's not personal.

Because it's not that big of a deal.

I mean, it is to some people.

And I won't bemoan this point by saying it's not, because it is important, just not as important as other people want it to be for me, or people expect it to be.

Because I'm still me.

I'm just gonna Let it Go... I can't hold it back anymore...

What's so important is that last Wednesday was my six month anniversary on hormones. 'Her'mones, if you will.

Hormone Replacement Therapy, for me at least - means a patch of Estrogen on my waist twice a week, and an Anti-Androgen pill every night.

I'm taking hormones to quell the Gender Dysphoria in my head, and make peace with my soul. Other trans people have described their dysphoria as two warring parts of their mind that are put at peace with hormones. That's basically what it means for me.

I'm telling you now because I'm done with school, and I finally have some time to put it all down. Also, I'm beginning to show some physical changes, and they're starting to raise a few eyebrows. In some ways, I'm going through a second puberty, this time from a different angle.

Which is great fun, because I had such an awesome time the first time around.

There are many examples of trans people's experiences on hormones on the internet and books, so I'll spare you the details. I recommend Julia Serano's Whipping Girl or Janet Mock's Defining Realness. Both excellent reads. I'm currently making my way through Laura Jane Grace's Tranny.

For the record - I'm still me. I'm still genderqueer. I'm still transgender. I'm still Jon. I'm still married. I'm still a husband, dad, son, brother, scholar, leader, beloved child of God.

Julia Serano writes, "...whenever old friends meet up with me for the first time since my transition, they almost invariably comment on how strange it is that I seem like the same exact person to them, except that now I am female. It's as if our compulsion to place women and men into different categories of our brain, to see them as 'opposite' sexes, is so intense that we have trouble imagining that it is possible for a person to change their sex without somehow becoming an entirely different person." (Whipping Girl, 62-3)

I'm still me.

I will likely be taking some form of hormones for the rest of my life. My transition didn't start with hormones, but the day I admitted to myself that this is who I am, and who God calls me to be.
My transition has no end point. I am Trans. I am transitioning. It's who I am.

In the last six months, I've learned that I can now feel emotions deeper, see colors brighter, and live life more authentically. I understand life a little differently, but I think it's for the better.

Tiffany has been my rock through all of this, and I'm excited to see what our future brings.

And, in all things, God's got this.

Thank you all for walking with and supporting us. Rebellions are built on hope.