Synoptic Gospels: Mark
Pastoral Care
Creation and the Triune God
Early and Medieval Church History
Rural Church Administration (second half of the semester)
And, because it's been a while since I've written in my blog, here's an update:
Over J-Term, I worked a lot at church, stayed home with Sam for the 5 (FIVE!!!) Snow (Frigid cold) days, worked on Greek and Hebrew (not as much as I would have liked), and played a fair amount of video games... (I stocked up because I don't really have time now...)
Also, I've asked my Rabbi, Joseph Edelheit to be my Spiritual Director as a request from my Candidacy Committee. He is happy to proclaim to folks he introduces me to that I had to request permission from the Dean of Students to have a retired Rabbi as my Spiritual Director. It's an honor to have him guiding me through my next few years at seminary, and I thoroughly enjoy our conversations together.
I'm also in the process of finding a counselor, also as part of my candidacy process. Hooray! The last time I was placed in front of a counselor (besides Mr. Graves giving me advice on college) was when my parent's divorced and the three of us went to Lutheran Social Services in Alexandria to talk about said divorce. None of us said much of anything, and the counselor got frustrated with us, so, we didn't return. That was my last formal counseling meeting. (again, besides pre-marital counseling with Tiffany and Pr. Randy)
I also purchased my first truck, a blue 97 Dodge Dakota. It's pretty, runs reasonably fine, and it was reasonably cheap in comparison to everything else. The 4WD has also come in handy, especially in our own parking lot. I've had to use it at least on 3 occasions, and it looks like I'll get to use it again tomorrow. Hooray!
SO, with these new additions to my already hectic life, spring oughta come real quick. Spring... it seems like such a long ways off, especially considering the amount of snow expected to pile on tomorrow. But, there are 40's in the forecast, so ya know... who knows.
On that note, let's (the obligatory hortatory subjunctive) begin. I wanted to officially start off this post with two definitions tonight:
First, Hermeneutic: a method or principle of interpretation
Second, Heresy: a belief or opinion that does not agree with the official belief or opinion of a particular religion. (In the original Greek, αἵρεσις means choice)
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| Ya know... Lots of choices... |
I need to commit heresy. I need to commit a(n) hermeneutical heresy(ies) against myself. Yep. Let me explain. A little more than a week ago, I had a wonderful conversation with Joseph (my Rabbi) as part of my Spiritual Direction (it's really become a lot of life direction as well). (I should write a book someday...) (maybe without all of these J.D.-esque parenthetical thoughts everywhere...)
Anyway, we were conversing about my most recent sermon on Vocation, and he had suggested that I needed to revise it. He suggested that I needed to re-frame the thought as not a single moment of calling, but an entire lifetime of calling. Thus, I should not have focused solely on Luke's calling from Ben as a one time moment, but more of a constant calling of saving the galaxy.
How Luke goes from this guy...
So as to not show that Luke has only one time in his life that he's called, but that he has had multiple times in which that he is called, to show much more of a story. The idea is, that we are each called not once, but multiple times throughout our lives.
To put it in perspective, I feel that I've been called to be a campus pastor. I have an entire Call Story that goes with that calling. But I only focus on that time at the stoplight with the garlic bread. (If you don't know about the garlic bread story, I'll tell you sometime...)
Joseph also suggested that I should not be so sure of my calling; that my confidence in my call may be a cover for anxiety and fear of what lies ahead. My confidence as to my role in life may not be so confident after all...
And this my friends, is where I commit my heresy.
You see, my CYF professor, Andy Root, explained hermeneutics perfectly this way: he had our class take our forefingers, hold them above our head, and spin them in a circle clockwise (you can try this if you want), watching them spin clockwise. Then, he had us slowly lower our fingers below our nose, (slowly now...) watching as our fingers went from spinning clockwise, to spinning counter-clockwise below our very noses...
Hermeneutics, he explained, is perspective. Our fingers didn't change the direction they were spinning; only our interpretation of the direction changed. Our perspective changed when we moved our fingers from above our head to below it. Our outlook on the world changes, when our perspective changes.
When I moved to California, I had no idea about the daily struggles of immigrant workers. I had no idea the constant fear they lived under. I had no idea of the realities that were "anchor babies". Mothers were scared of deportation when their "anchor babies" lived here in America. When I finally moved back to Minnesota, my hermeneutic on immigration changed. My hermeneutic on LGBT relations changed. My hermeneutic on California(ns) changed. Life changed.
So when life changes, perspectives change with it. This is where I need to commit that heremeneutical heresy. My life has changed in the last few years. I went from college freshman status to newlywed status to parent status to graduated status to seminarian status in less than 4 years. In all that time, I've had the same outlook on my call, and the same outlook on my future life. I think it's time for heresy.
I need to re-frame my outlook on my call. Maybe God was indeed calling me to be a campus pastor. Maybe, however, I should take a hint from others and look at other prospects as well. I still have an undying love for campus ministry, and will continue to fight for it's survival, but maybe I need to broaden my horizons a bit.
When I was 6, we were moving from Saint Cloud to Donnelly, and it was my last day at Roosevelt Elementary (which is now an ECFE center). It was recess, and I was wearing an amazingly awesome red sweatsuit. (Yes, red sweat pants, red sweater). It was windy, and I think this was my first (memorable) in-touch moment with God (or my spirituality), but I can clearly remember sticking my arms out (like a sail) and walking with the wind. With my pants and sweater fluttering in the breeze, I can remember pretending I was a leaf, being carried by the wind, and I slowly glided across the playground, being carried by the wind.
That is where I need to be again. I need to be that leaf again. I need to let go of my inhibitions, and go where the Holy Spirit leads. I need to let go of that confidence, and realize that life is truly up to God. Life is not a road map, but a river; constantly ebbing and flowing, turning this way and that, with tributaries leading to more rivers...
So. All in all, I'm a heretic. I'm committing hermeneutical heresy, but I need to sit back, and let the Holy Spirit guide me and my family. So then, and only then, might my heremeneutic change, and life may once again join that river ever flowing...
Amen
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